Surviving by Isolation

Social isolation is a survival tactic as a Hongkonger dissident, but it is also an intended result of transnational state violence.

TWs*

I have been thinking about writing this for a while now, but I can't seem to find the *right* words to reflect on this.

Lemme take a moment to reassure my perfectionism that imperfection is okay sometimes. 

It was subtle at first, but to avoid talking about certain "sensitive" topics. With friends from Hong Kong or with families in Hong Kong, they can be deemed guilty simply by association.

With friends outside of the dissident networks, I'm not sure how to start the "if you interact with my public social media accounts, a state algorithm tracking dissidents might flag you as part of my social circle" discussion without sounding like a paranoid mess.

I don't seek your validation, just simply pointing out the harsh reality that dissident are out here surviving and navigating foreign state surveillance with no help from anyone but ourselves and each other

At first, I avoided talking to friends back home and friends who still have families in Hong Kong. I started separating my overseas work from my past Hong Kong teammates, using two phones, two Telegram accounts, and two emails.

After getting compromised by a new connection, who approached me and my network with ulterior motive. I hesitate to make new social relationships, worried that people further compromise myself and others around me.

By this line of reasoning, it felt easier to isolate myself from friends and family.Social isolation became the norm, rather than a decision informed by risk assessment.

Before I realize, I stopped talking to my current friends.

Why could I subject my friends to the barrage of transnational violence I witness, when I barely survive it everyday.

A friend once reminded me. They would rather dissidents live in fear and isolation, it would be easier to pick us off one-by-one.

Since then, I am learning to reason with this learned-fear, to navigate the precarious conditions of my life as a dissident. There is a balance to be struck, to protect myself and those around me, but to also defy state surveillance and violence.

Maybe this is my way to explain why I hesitate to talk to friends or meet new friends, reinforced by my introverted self.

Or maybe this is just a ramble on why social isolation became a survival tactic.

Anyhow, this is my reality.
You can believe it, or not.